Happy Birthday Jesus!

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My son is home one last time for the Xmas break from the military before he heads off for 3 more years of a 6 year hitch to serve our country, in Hawaii… he graduated the Defense Language Institute and is now fluent in Mandarin Chinese. Yeah, I’m bragging. I don’t know where he got it, I can barely speak English.

 

 

My daughter is staying home in Seattle with her hubby to have another quiet holiday as a newlywed. It’s been exactly one year since they bought their little bungalow in the hip little town of Burien and they have it dialed in. I don’t think I’ve ever been around two people more in love. It does my heart good knowing she’s so happy.

 

 

My Mom is finally settled in the assisted living center and seems to be happy she has people to listen to her never-ending one-sided completely inappropriate conversations about poop and pee and vomit.  I was really afraid we were going to lose her this year but she’s made a full recovery other than she is now wheel chair bound.

 

 

Alabama’s cousin from New York is driving in tonight from a ski marathon across the western states and will be skiing with us on Xmas day. And Alabama and I are settled in our house and enjoying the fact we finally have our own space and have had the stress of caring for an elderly parent extricated from our marriage.

 

For many folks around the country, 2011 was a pretty bad year. But it turned out to be one of the best on record for the Worly’s.

Alabama and I went to Arizona last February and drank fancy wine at Merkin Vineyard. After that trip we decided to get back in shape, lost 60 lbs. each, hiked all over Idaho and even managed to summit a few mountains.

 

 

 

 

We went to the Braun Brother Reunion in Challis and camped and floated and drank and danced to the best alt-country the industry has to offer. I will not miss this Idaho delight in years to come, we’re really lucky to have it. If you haven’t gone, you’re missing out.

 

 

 

We became socially active for the first time since we got married and have made several close friends this past year. You know who you are.

 

 

And I discovered a couple likeminded musician friends and am playing in a band I actually like for the first time since leaving Denver 14 years ago. We even have a couple gigs! Stay tuned, we may be bigger than the Justin Beaver kid.

 

 

 

 

So the 2011 holiday season is a good one. We didn’t spend much on Xmas this year because simply put, we don’t want for any material crap.

All the scary things that could have gone terribly wrong this year have righted themselves and my family has managed to glide through another year without being touched by heartbreak and tragedy.

For me, an outspoken Godless prick, it’s a fucking Christmas miracle. I hope this writing finds you and yours in the same boat.

Happy, grateful, and wishing Jesus the Christ a very Happy Birthday!

 

 

 

 

The Best of Idaho Falls in 2011-

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It’s the shortest day of the year, the day when we get around twenty three minutes of daylight here in Idaho. The day most folks would just rather sleep through. That’s right, it’s the winter solstice.

Since there isn’t much to do with a twenty three minute day, I figured I’d publish my annual “best of” Idaho Falls report. There were some local businesses that really pissed me off this year, so in the true spirit of the holiday season, I felt it my duty to give them a mention as well.

Best of for 2011:

Best Mexican food: Morenitas – Hands down the best prepared consistent authentic food in town. If you don’t like Morenitas, you’re a dipshit with no taste, seriously. Please move back to Utah.

Best Tires: Jack’s Tire and Oil – Matt has been running the show down there for about 10 years now. I always walk out with a good deal. Honest and fair.

Best Mechanic: Richards Diesel and Automotive – Richard has been working on my jalopies for almost 15 years and has never let me down. Honest and fair.

Best Grocery Store: Albertson’s – They have the best service and the best selection in the state of Idaho. Sure it costs a bit more than WINCO or Wal-Mart, but you don’t have to deal with nearly as much white trash.

Best Coffee Shop: Bella Vita – I love this place. It’s right on the new section of the green belt so it’s a perfect location for lunch after a brisk walk around the lower loop. They have great food, great coffee, and a super friendly staff.

Best Bar: The Frosty Gator – The deck of the Gator has been an Idaho Falls staple for many years. They have the best bar food in town, a huge micro-brew selection (missing Mirror Pond on tap bitches) and a full bar in case you get extra thirsty. Oh yeah, and a shit load of big screens so you sports fans can watch sports. I really like the women’s field hockey, it’s super exciting when they make a homerun goal.

Best Pizza: Tom’s – I never really got Tom’s for a few years. I know everyone ranted and raved about it, but I wasn’t ever impressed. Kinda like when you see a movie that your buddy told you was the best film in the history of mankind, but you were all… yeah it was OK but. Well I have given them a second chance and all I can say is its damn good pie.  The rest of you STFU about it and stop ruining it for everyone!

Best Car Dealer/ Realtor: This would be like picking the best crack salesman or greatest child molester. These assholes do nothing but leach off society, this is pure greed. They take a product, mark it up, and screw consumers. I would buy a house or a car off Craig’s list and save yourself 6% to 20% in commissions. There has never been a car salesman or realtor born worth the powder it would take to blow them directly to hell, where they are all going anyway. Whoa, that sounded a bit mean.

But seriously, fuck those scumbags.

Best Pool Hall: Corner Pocket – This is kind of a no brainer since we only have one pool hall in town, but these guys are good. If you go in at noon, lunch including a beer is $5 and the pool is free. Happy hour is from 6-9 every night and it’s always two for one well drinks. I don’t go as much as I used to, two for one anything is a bad thing for Clarence Worly.

Best Fancy Wine Place: The Whinery - They have a nice selection of giggle juice ranging from $3 a glass up to $12 and they don’t seem to enjoy the smell of their own farts quite as much as the other fancy wine places. I’ve never understood why the staff at these places have the attitude they do. They make minimum wage schlepping wine in glasses, I wish they would just STFU and fetch me my drink like they do at Corner Pocket or The Gator, without the snooty ‘tude.  They are not smarter than everyone else and they are not in the know. They underachieving losers and I hope one day they learn their place and stay in it.

Best News Paper: The Post Register?- They win by attrition. They have managed to outlast all competitors by cutting staff, reducing news material, and canning the Monday paper. The last time I checked the Sunday addition had one page of local news and one page of ads. Kinda like Tidbits but way more expensive. But still, it’s the best Idaho Falls has to offer.

Best Gas Station: Anywhere but Gas n’ Grub – I’ve been going to Gas n’ Grab since I was a kid. Marv Olsen ran the place and he always had a friendly smile, a kind word, and knew who his regular customers were. Then he retired and left the business to Marv Jr. If you were to look up the term  “slack jawed rube” in the dictionary it would have a picture of Marv Jr. I stopped in a few weeks ago to get propane, Marv Jr. informed me it was cold, he was busy, and could I just go somewhere else?  Yes, Marv Jr. I will go somewhere else, forever. Your Dad must be terribly proud.

Best Place to be assaulted in a parking lot: Smith’s Food King-It seems Smith’s has become a mecca for meth addicts, pot smoking food stamp losers, wanna-be gang bangers, and pure white trash. It’s the only place in town, other than WINCO and Wal-Mart, where I feel the need to utilize my concealed weapon permit.

Best BBQ: Famous Dave’s – It’s a sad testament for a community as small as Idaho Falls to require two giant ass Wal-Marts. It demonstrates the majority of folks living here have no soul. It’s also sad that the best BBQ is a chain restaurant, but we just don’t seem to be able to muster a decent local BBQ joint.  I blame an overall lack of education and the fact 70% of Bonneville county residents are secretly in league with Satan.

Best TV Anchor: Karole Honas – Karole is a local gal who grew up in Blackfoot. She could be on any big broadcast network, she’s really that good. But she lives here and isn’t going anywhere so she puts up with bush league KIFI and carries the entire station. We’re really lucky to have her, so is channel 8.

There you have it, the best of 2011. Feel free to add to the list, I’d love to hear about everyone’s favorites I missed.

By popular demand, I’ve added a few more businesses to my list.

Best Ski Local Resort: Grand Targhee – I know, we have Big Sky, Jackson, Sun Valley, and all those places down in Utah as day trips too, but bang for the buck, Targhee offers the best terrain vs. lift ticket price. On a personal note, I see our super-local hill, Kelly Canyon will be closed every Sunday from now on. This was brought about by the LDS general conference call to return to the traditional LDS schedule of making sure you spent all day in church each Sunday. I have purchased many season tickets at Kelly’s and if I had this year I would demand a refund. This has to be the only hill in the United States to close on a weekend. Being the principled prick that I am, I will never ski there again. It was bad enough I couldn’t buy a fucking beer at the lodge, now this? I’ll drive the extra half hour to Pebble where they don’t give a shit if it’s Sunday.

Best Fast Food: Scotty’s – I’ve been getting the Great Scot combo meal since the late 1960′s and it is still the best deal in town. I’m guessing there are around 13,000 calories in one of those giant burgers and it’s worth every one. That is good fast food.

Best Internet/ TV Service: Any company but those raping cocksuckers at CableOne – I had these fuckers turn my cable off for a week until I finally navigated the half-hour of recorded menus to get a human voice who informed me they had to have direct access to my checking account for billing if I wished to continue service. “Am I late on a payment?” No sir, it’s our new policy. ” Do I get  a refund when your crappy $127 a month service isn’t working, which is about 25% of the time?” No sir, do wish to cancel your account? “How about I come down there and make you smile? With my boot some slackers ass?” Dial tone… fuck these assholes. I’d sooner watch static than give them another dime.

Best Movie Theater: Centre – This is a small indie theater that shows second run films on the cheap. Old school seats, just a couple kids working, and the way I remember seeing movies back in the day. Edwards is big and fancy, yes, but it ain’t the best, it’s just big and fancy.

Best place to get a DUI: Any place in Idaho Falls. Authorities are taking this shit seriously, like they do in Europe. For good reason, only a self-centered asshole risks killing someone because they have been drinking and get behind the wheel. Read the police log in the paper, first time DUI: 180 days in jail, loss of licence for a year, $1000 fine. Don’t fuck around guys, get a cab. Now if we could just get the worthless pricks in Boise to do something about the sober cell phone yapping texters who like to drive and kill people…

The Death of Middle-Class America (Part2)

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Hot off the Associated Press news wire 12/15/2011:

Census shows 1 in 2 people are poor or low-income

WASHINGTON (AP) — Squeezed by rising living costs, a record number of Americans — nearly 1 in 2 — have fallen into poverty or are scraping by on earnings that classify them as low income.

The latest census data depict a middle class that’s shrinking as unemployment stays high and the government’s safety net frays. The numbers follow years of stagnating wages for the middle class that have hurt millions.

“Safety net programs such as food stamps and tax credits kept poverty from rising even higher in 2010, but for many low-income families with work-related and medical expenses, they are considered too ‘rich’ to qualify,” said Sheldon Danziger, a University of Michigan public policy professor who specializes in poverty.

“The reality is that prospects for the poor and the near poor are dismal,” he said. “If Congress and the states make further cuts, we can expect the number of poor and low-income families to rise for the next several years.”

Congressional Republicans and Democrats are sparring over legislation that would renew a Social Security payroll tax cut, part of a year-end political showdown over economic priorities that could also trim unemployment benefits, freeze federal pay and reduce entitlement spending.

This isn’t some bullshit political poll. These are data from the United States Census Bureau and this is really happening. As I said in part one of this series, the days of earning $60,000 a year as a tradesman or factory worker with a GED or high school diploma are OVER.  America rebuilt the world for 40 years following WWII, by default because of our geographic isolation, and now we must compete with the rest of the planet economically.

I also pointed out in part 1, the average IQ in America is only 100, meaning 50% of the people living in this country are dimwits. Applying common sense, most stupid people are poor and most poor people are stupid. I know, scientific method coupled with statistics can be super un-PC and cruel, but facts is facts. The majority of poor folks are poor because they aren’t smart enough to compete. Kinda like the slow wolf in the wild is easy to spot, that would be the skinny one.

One bright spot, George W. Bush has an estimated IQ of 91, yet he managed to graduate from Yale with a BA in history and go on to Harvard and get an MBA. Albeit, he had a 2.2 GPA at Yale and his Dad bought the MBA for him, still, just because you’re stupid doesn’t always mean you can’t succeed.

And by succeed I mean George W was a Governor and a President. Good for him, I’m sure George Sr. still can’t believe it.  It makes total sense to me, stupid people vote for stupid people, one half of our population is stupid, therefore, we got two terms of Bush Jr.

But that’s not what I’m here to rant about…

I want to be crystal clear; the United States Government is not going to enact some silver bullet legislation to save the middle class. No amount of tax cuts, or child care credits, or corporate tax breaks, or stimulus package voodoo is going to stop the inevitable equalization of American income with the rest of the world. Its economics, colleges teach it to most shiny faced freshmen, but apparently no one pays attention in class, too busy smoking chronic, rubbing nasties, and watching Jersey Shore I guess.

Interesting factoid, 75% of all college freshman drop out. Let’s face it; the country needs landscapers and road crew workers too. But in coming years, those “positions” will be offering annual salaries of $25,000, and if you’re making $25,000 a year in America, you are one broke-ass bitch.

Here are some middle class facts:

Median income levels
Households Persons, age 25 or older with earnings Household income by race
All households Dual earner
households		 Per household
member		 Males Females Both sexes Asian White,
non-hispanic		 Hispanic Black
$46,326 $67,348 $23,535 $39,403 $26,507 $32,140 $57,518 $48,977 $34,241 $30,134
Median personal income by educational attainment
Measure Some High School High school graduate Some college Associate’s degree Bachelor’s degree or higher Bachelor’s degree Master’s degree Professional degree Doctorate degree
Persons, age 25+ w/ earnings $20,321 $26,505 $31,054 $35,009 $49,303 $43,143 $52,390 $82,473 $70,853
Male, age 25+ w/ earnings $24,192 $32,085 $39,150 $42,382 $60,493 $52,265 $67,123 $100,000 $78,324
Female, age 25+ w/ earnings $15,073 $21,117 $25,185 $29,510 $40,483 $36,532 $45,730 $66,055 $54,666
Persons, age 25+, employed full-time $25,039 $31,539 $37,135 $40,588 $56,078 $50,944 $61,273 $100,000 $79,401
Household $22,718 $36,835 $45,854 $51,970 $73,446 $68,728 $78,541 $100,000 $96,830
Household income distribution
Bottom 10% Bottom 20% Bottom 25% Middle 33% Middle 20% Top 25% Top 20% Top 5% Top 1.5% Top 1%
$0 to $10,500 $0 to $18,500 $0 to $22,500 $30,000 to $62,500 $35,000 to $55,000 $77,500 and up $92,000 and up $167,000 and up $250,000 and up $350,000 and up
Source: US Census Bureau, 2006; income statistics for the year 2005

 

From the table above it looks like if you go to college and get a real degree, you make twice as much as a dipshit with a hardhat and shovel. I use the term real degree because most liberal arts degrees are as worthless as the paper they are printed on, unless of course you plan on going to grad/ law/medical school.

What do the call a guy with a BA in Anthropology? A bartender.

What do the call a gal with a BA in Sociology? A waitress.

What do you call anyone with a BA in Philosophy?  Unemployable.

Remember, schools are businesses run by greedy assholes who want to squeeze as much money per student as possible. They prey on stupid people who take classes just to take classes through the guise of “self-improvement.”

Want to sound smarter and impress your pseudo- intellectual stoner friends with off the wall Nietzsche quotes at your next bake-off? Go the public library and read a fucking book. It’s free and you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you aren’t helping perpetuate one of the biggest fallacies in America: All college is good regardless of the course of study.

I have a friend who earned a PhD in Medieval Literature, no shit, Medieval Literature. She racked up $60,000 in student loans and makes $32,000 a year working as a research librarian at the same school she did her doctoral work, couldn’t find a job anywhere, go figure. Her rent is $800 a month living with two roommates and she will never own a home or drive anything but a piece of shit.

Why? Because contrary to popular belief… not all college is good. In fact, most of the fields of study at America’s universities will do nothing for you professionally other than put you in debt.

Do you want to know a secret short cut to earning a comfortable middle class salary with job security?

One word: Math.

It’s really that simple. Scientists, engineers, economists, accountants, statisticians… any profession that requires math skill (differential equation level folks, not simple addition and subtraction) pays well, and many only require a bachelor degree. Even math based technical schools that offer two-year associate degrees will get you a much better job than the dipshit with the GED and the hardhat and shovel.

Sadly, folks with double digit IQs aren’t really able to do math. Guys like George W, but without the silver spoon, are destined to mow the lawns of people (in the know) with triple digit IQs, live in trailers, and have many, many children.

The middle class will disappear over the next three decades and the country will be economically divided like the rest of the world, with the top 30% of income earners having 95% of the wealth and the bottom 70% who live in a world of crime and drugs and miserable squalor.

Think Jamaica, except with founding fathers, a fancy constitution, and lots of reality TV programs broadcast in HD.

I know, that’s so mean, but I would prefer my offspring live in the 30% group, and by recognizing this shit is going to happen and nothing can stop it, short of another WWII miracle, it’s my hope my kids and future grandkids listen up and choose the path of applicable education and financial prosperity.

I think Bon Scott put it as well as anyone can, “It ain’t no fun waitin’ round to be a millionaire.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Death of Middle-Class America (Part 1)

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Back in 1941 America wasn’t a superpower. In fact, as players on the world stage go, we ranked right up there with modern-day Canada. We were considered lazy dim-witted pacifists with no stomach for the horrors of a real war. This is evidenced by the fact Japan felt they could attack us, in hopes of circumventing the trade embargo we placed on the Empire of the Sun after their systematic  rape of Manchuria, because they thought we would negotiate a cease-fire rather than fight.

Obviously, Japanese leadership badly miscalculated.

In spite of fierce Republican opposition to the United States entering WWII (even after Pearl Harbor the GOP refused to declare war on Germany, Hitler had to declare war on the US, the GOP claimed it wasn’t America’s fight), we rolled up our sleeves and proved to the rest of the planet we weren’t as lazy and dim-witted as they all believed.

But at some point after the war, Americans forgot who we were. We touted our newly gained might both economically and militarily. We hook, lined and sinkered the rhetoric coming out of Washington about American ingenuity and inventiveness and global manifest destiny.

Gone were the words from The New Colossus, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

We were no longer a nation of unwanted religious zealots, social outcasts and economically disadvantaged vermin. We were Americans!  We won the war and we were now the smartest most productive country mankind had ever known. Hook, line and sinker we believed our own bullshit.

In reality, we were the only country with major manufacturing capabilities that hadn’t been bombed into the Stone Age during the war. Europe was decimated, Asia was in ruins, and over the next thirty years, Americans rebuilt the world. Anyone who was willing to work, even moderately hard, regardless of education level, could earn staggering wages, own a home, and drive a nice car.

So the “middle-class” exploded and the American Dream became so common place it was taken for granted.

But now reality is setting in. Turns out America didn’t win the war and rebuild the world because we’re the smartest most productive country mankind has ever known. We were geographically isolated from the warring countries so no one bombed the shit out of our cities and factories and infra-structure.

In short, we were lucky. We were not gifted and we are certainly not smart.

The average IQ in United States is 100. Ever known someone with a double-digit IQ?  Trust me, you do. They mow lawns and pick up trash and drive taxi’s and deliver goods and run for political office in Texas.  One-half of the people living in this country can’t perform simple algebra. They can’t even balance a checkbook. They read on an eighth grade level, which equates to a fourth grade education in other industrialized countries.

Ever seen “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?”  No, 165,000,000 Americans are not smarter than a fifth grader. One half of the folks living in this country are ignorant and dumb. It’s proven science, we really are lazy and dim-witted.

According to Tamara Draut, co-author of The State of Young America; “In a single generation, it has become harder to either work or educate your way into the middle class.” Draut cites high unemployment, a slump in the housing market and rapidly rising costs for everything from college tuition to rents to medical coverage and child care, as tough hurdles young people have to overcome to get their independent adult lives started.

What Draut doesn’t address is WHY we have high unemployment, a tanked housing market, and rapidly rising costs. It’s very simple; we’re finally competing economically against the rest of the world. Our time of rebuilding the planet is officially over.

A guy in India or China is better educated and will perform the same mindless factory job as the guy in Ohio, for a fraction of the American wage. Moreover, the guy in India or China is willing to work 16 hours a day, seven days a week, because he knows if he doesn’t his children will starve.  And let’s not forget foreign companies don’t abide by the same regulatory laws we do, they dump horrible pollutants directly into water supplies.

Praise the Lord, it’s just like it was in America before the war!

About 48% of young adults ages 18 to 34 believe their generation will be worse off than their parents, according to the State of Young America poll.

Gee, ya think?

Bottom line is we’re on our way back to the late 1800’s. Less pay, longer hours, fewer benefits, and much less lavish lifestyles. And regardless who we throw into office back in Washington, nothing is going to change the path toward global economic equalization of the American middle-class. The 400 folks who control the real wealth of this nation are going to make sure of it.

So what are we going to do about it? How are we going to ensure we keep our generational middle-class economic status for our offspring in the New World Order?

Well, not to sound mean, but there are millions upon millions of middle-class folks whose kids and grandkids will be down-grading to lower-class. The main reason for this shift can be directly attributed to lack of applicable education.

But that rant is coming next week.

 

 

The Supercommittee Fails!

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Just when I think congress couldn’t get more dysfunction, more ineffective, or more inefficient,  I see headlines proclaiming the “Supercommittee,” charged with coming up with $1.2 Trillion in budget cuts, that was appointed  by the Speaker and Minority Leader of the House and the Majority and Minority Leaders of the Senate, has failed to reach an agreement after months of bickering.

A quick recap on how things are supposed to work:

Republicans want to cut corporate taxes, ensure the obscenely wealthy stay obscenely wealthy, and make certain a small group of extremely elite God-fearing white folks are still firmly in control of every aspect of our society; conservatively, behind the scenes of course. You know, the way it’s been since 1776.

Democrats have lofty ideals of equal rights for different racial and socio-economic groups, health care for all Americans, public programs to educate the uneducated, feed the hungry, build roads, parks, playgrounds… and of course tax the elitist super wealthy to pay for these programs. The same super wealthy the Republicans work so diligently to protect.

It’s been this way for many, many years. The Dems want to build and the GOP says no. That system has worked by compromise and good faith. The GOP keeps the Dems from going hog wild giving our tax dollars to lazy crack whores by limiting government handouts and the Dems keep the GOP from allowing the super wealthy to completely ass rape the rest of us.

But the system has broken down and officially no longer works. The failure of the Supercommittee proves it.

My father-in-law, a 24-year retired Army Major and two-tour combat wounded Viet Nam veteran, tells me he has come up with the solution to America’s political and economic woes.

He suggests we get around 5 million pissed off Vets together in Washington DC and we drag all members of Congress and the Senate in front of the Lincoln Memorial and behead each and every one of them with an old school French guillotine.

After placing the heads of every member of Congress and the Senate on wooden pikes around the DC Mall for all to see, we will have emergency elections throughout the land to replace the worthless beheaded meat-bags formerly known as our legislators, making sure all those who seek political office understand they will suffer the same fate should they perform in the same manner as their predecessors.

My father-in-law speculates our newly elected leaders will gladly work together for the greater good of our nation and finally bury partisan politics, roll up their sleeves, and do their fucking jobs.

I really don’t know; I have trouble believing anyone seeking public office at the national level is trustworthy. It’s like trying to find an honest meth dealer or an ethical child molester… people who seek that kind of power are morally bankrupt in my book, but what do I know?

I’m just another flabbergasted asshole with a blog.

 

 

 

 

 

Good Riddance Rhoades

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There are few things that truly bring me to the point of total rage, but this story makes my blood boil.

Protesters in Boise this week trying to save Paul Rhoades from execution.

From the Post Register:

Stacy Dawn Baldwin was just 21 years old, known for her kindness and love of sports. She was also in love – she’d been married to her high school sweetheart just six months, and was starting the life she wanted, her mother, Verna Anderson, told the Blackfoot Morning News.

She was also determined. Those who knew her later told police she was a woman who would fight to the death rather than let someone molest her or take her someplace against her will. On Feb. 28, 1987, she was forced to do just that.

Baldwin was working the night shift at the Red Mini Barn convenience store in Blackfoot when Paul Ezra Rhoades stopped in. Instead of loitering, he left almost immediately, only to come back close to midnight armed with a pistol. He robbed the till and then forced Baldwin into his pickup, driving her to a secluded spot near the Snake River in Bingham County.

Intending to rape her, Rhoades attacked and Baldwin fought back. She was on her hands and knees scrambling to get away when Rhoades began shooting – first missing her, as bullet marks in the snow bank would later show – and then hitting her once in the elbow, again in her back. The second bullet pierced her lungs.

Investigators said footprints in the snow show Rhoades walked to where Baldwin was laying, wounded but alive. He then left her and headed to a local cafe where he met up with an acquaintance.

*********************************************************************************

It’s likely 20-year-old Nolan Haddon had heard the news about Baldwin’s murder – nearly everyone in this close-knit corner of Idaho had. Women were afraid to walk to their cars alone. Convenience store workers wondered if they would be next. Other unsolved murders being reported across the border in Utah had everyone on edge, wondering if a serial killer was among them.

But Nolan was easygoing, his mother, Julie Haddon, recounts. He hunted and fished and, like most boys his age, enjoyed “chasing around town” with his friends in the family’s old ’65 Chevy pickup, she said.

Like Baldwin, Haddon was working the night shift at Buck’s convenience store in Idaho Falls, roughly 29 miles away from the site of Baldwin’s abduction. His older brother, Clay Haddon, stopped to see him at work that night and was likely the last person to see Nolan Haddon alive and unharmed. At some point during the night, Rhoades entered the store, shooting Nolan Haddon five times. One of the bullets severed Haddon’s spinal cord; he was left to die in the store’s walk-in cooler.

*********************************************************************************

Susan Michelbacher taught special education classes at an Idaho Falls junior high school. But she woke up sick on March 19, 1987, and knew she couldn’t teach her classes that day. At about 6:30 a.m., she headed to the school to make lesson plans for a substitute so her students wouldn’t be left in a lurch.

The 34-year-old teacher wasn’t back home when her husband, John “Bert” Michelbacher, came home for lunch. She still wasn’t there when he finished his work day at about 5:30 p.m. He called the school and found that though she’d been in to do the lesson plan, she hadn’t been at school during the day, according to court documents. Like Baldwin, she’d been kidnapped by Rhoades.

Investigators later found Susan Michelbacher had driven her van to the drive-in window at her bank just as it opened at 8:30 a.m. She cashed a check there for $1,000, and just 15 minutes later she did the same thing at another local bank branch.

Her body was found two days later, less than a mile away. An autopsy showed she’d been raped and shot nine times, the abuses against her continuing as she died.

*********************************************************************************

Normally, I lean left on headline issues, but as a person who has seen a life ruined due to an earth shattering violent crime, all I can say is Paul Ezra Rhoades is an evil piece of garbage and the world will be a better place without him in it.

While I will always respect an intelligent opinion and listen to reason, unless one has lived through the hell of being a victim of violent crime, the folks protesting in the photo above probably don’t understand the agony of injustice.

In the protesters defense, I don’t know their individual stories.

All I Know is Paul Rhoades is a ruthless murdering rapist maggot who has cost the Gem State hundreds of thousands of dollars through his efforts to escape his State issued demise.

On November 18 let’s all hope, as law abiding citizens of Idaho, this ends with Rhoades death so the families of his victims may finally, after nearly 25 years, begin to heal.

Part of the Solution not the Problem

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This still exists because I make a difference!

I pride myself on my environmental track record. I really make an effort to lessen my impact on Mother Earth and folks who know me will attest to this boast. I try not to be one of those doom and gloomers who cite absolute facts supported by proven scientific research (the same research that led to the horseless carriage, air travel, space exploration, and effective cancer treatment) and realize that Homo sapiens have run their course on this planet and it’s only a matter of a few thousand years before our species depletes all the natural resources needed to survive and becomes extinct.

Oh my,  Heck no!

I’m here to tell you, recycling one aluminum can or a few plastic bottles will make a huge difference when compared to the multi-trillion tons of waste generated by third world shit-holes, like China, every 24 hours of every day.

Nope, I don’t listen to naysaying realists. Like any mindless religious zealot, I believe reducing your personal carbon footprint will fix everything, and in a few short years, the Unicorn and the Dodo will be living in harmony on the beautiful green hillsides of idealistic ecological models like Brooklyn and Johannesburg.

Everything I do throughout my day-to-day revolves around saving energy, protecting endangered critter habitat, making sure I leave only footprints, and basing my diet on things that got to lead happy meaningful lives, like organically grown kohlrabi, free range chicken wings, and veal calves that were allowed to stand in their own diarrhea for a few minutes during their vast six month life times of utter agony.

So at no cost what-so-ever to my readers, I, Clarence Worly, am going to share my Southeast Idaho “save the planet” tips that will not only help our environment and make you feel better about yourself, but will actually make your feces smell like Chuck-O-Rama tapioca on a hot August Sunday and render your neighbors speechless with envy from the musk of your self-righteous un-deodorized armpits.

Clarence Worly save the planet tips:

  1. Stop using toilet paper after stooling. With every wipe, you kill a tree, and let’s face it; a tree shouldn’t have to die just because you need to pinch a loaf. I suggest a finger and a quick rinse off in the tank of the toilet.
  2. Stop showering.  And stop using products that reduce your natural stench or make you look more attractive.  Face it, we are Homo sapiens.  Our males stink and our females are hideous. Ever seen deer or elk?  Beautiful. Think about it, we rank right up there with snails and those freaky-assed monkeys with penis noses when it comes to natural beauty. Let’s not live our lives in denial like some Mormon bishop totally into show tunes… Mother Earth suffers due to the denial of our ugliness.
  3. Stop contributing to public landfills. Simply take your household waste and throw it over the fence into your neighbors compost pile. What’s that? Your neighbors don’t have a compost pile?  Well they do now!
  4. Stop buying fossil fuels. Seriously, I never buy gas or oil. My neighbors do…and I know how to siphon like a Bank of America CEO.
  5. Finally, if you’re super-serious about reducing your carbon footprint, simply do what future generations would gladly do to escape the misery of the lives they are sure to inherit based on our consumption of inexpensive and needless Chinese imported goods: pick out your favorite Walter Sobchak .45 M1911, put it in your mouth, and pull the trigger until it goes click. Carbon output: zero

So there you have it. Save the planet from Southeast Idaho. And please note; Mother Earth doesn’t really need to be saved at all. She will be just fine without us. It turns out she’s gonna keep spinning for another 4.5 billion years, and she doesn’t give a rat’s ass whether Homo sapiens are here or not.

 

CableOne Sucks

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Yeah fuck you Cableone.

I want to start a company. I want to start a company that claims to offer every service, up to and including wiping it’s customers bottoms, charges outrageous fees, offers no realistic way for its customers to contact them once they get access to their customer’s checking account, and, in reality, provides no service whatsoever.

Yep, the cable is out…again. It’s been 3 days this time.

I know, I could spent the next several hours digging through bills in an effort to decipher a few hundred pages  of cryptologic code to call the uncaring incompetent assholes, but since I have already played that game two-hundred and seventy-nine times, I know the outcome.

“We are having service problems in your area and we are working diligently to resolve the issue.”

Can you imagine if all American industry provided the same style service as Cableone?

Just keep making your car payment Mr. Worly, and eventually we will get you a car, until then, just keep making the payment…or we will ruin your credit. Just keep making your house payment Mr. Worly, and eventually we will get you a place to live, until then, just keep making the payment…or we will ruin your credit. Just keep making your utility payment Mr. Worly, and eventually we will get you power, until then, just keep making the payment…or we will ruin your credit.

I would use some super foul language here and say some things about CableOne employees having sex with goats,  but what’s the point? All I can say is CableOne sucks. I blame CableOne for our country’s economic woes. It’s this style of business that has allowed a third-world shit hole like China to kick our ass industrially.

OMG they piss me off. If only they would fix my TV so I could get back to not caring about their ridiculously overpriced horrendously shitty service.

Obviously the internet is still working or I couldn’t post this crap. Which also means I can stream Netflix; yet another shitty, albeit much less expensive service that generally only works every fifth Tuesday night of every month with 28 or 29 days in it. But this morning it has been stellar, I have actually managed to get through three movies without the standard 30 minute bandwidth pauses.

Which brings me to the point of this rant… WFT is up with the five star movie rating system?

I watched a flick this morning with James Gandofini (one of my favorite actors) and John Travolta (weirdo Scientologist but is he really any different than my freaky Mormon neighbors? I think not) called Lonely Hearts from back in 2007. It got two stars, great flick if you’re into big budget well written well-acted films.

Then I watched Bloodlust Zombies with Alexis Texas, which received a three star rating. I know, I know, with a title like that, how could it only get three stars, especially when they must have had an overall budget of nearly $2800. But as hard as it is to believe, this movie sucked almost as bad as CableOne.

So here is my question:

Who is in charge of rating movies and based on their outstanding track record, why hasn’t the GOP tapped them to run for president?

 

 

 

 

A Reality Check: PLEASE STFU

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It’s time…

These are people who have something to complain about. Think about it the next time you feel like whining about living in the United States.

Not that many folks have paid much attention, but to the half-dozen misguided interneties who read my blog with reasonable regularity, you may have noticed I haven’t written a thing for several months. Not because there hasn’t been plenty to write about; the desperate GOP search for a viable candidate, Occupy Now, plenty of shootings and murders right here in my sleepy neighborhood, a startup roller-derby league, many outdoor adventures, my Mom moving into assisted living (that’s right, I have my own house again), several road trips to big cities, and a brand new band I’m playing with. I mean, that’s a lot of things to write about, but I just haven’t felt the urge.

Like Hugh Heffner at a naked hot tub party lousy with fake-titted twenty something bimbos, I felt like I’d seen so much bullshit this summer and fall, it all seemed inconsequential. When I see so much gluttony, so much injustice, so much complacency, and above all, a daily deluge of incompetency and out right stupidity, I just have to tune out and become one of the 300,000,000 or so citizens of this country who simply don’t give a fuck about anything except their day-to-day goings on.

But I had an incident last week and I realized I don’t like being lumped in with the overwhelming majority of folks who live in this country, contribute little, take much, and complain about it. There are many places in the world where people are happy simply because their government hasn’t murdered any of their family members lately, many places where parents are ecstatic about the fact their children aren’t suffering from starvation this month, and many places where folks can’t believe how lucky they are to live in a filthy mud hut.

But not here in the good old US of A, we bitch about everything and anything like one of those soppy Kardashian twats. Yes, I have a new take on my fellow Americans, and I’m afraid it may not be a very favorable one. In this new age of sniveling-whining-what’s-in-it- for- me-I -don’t-want-to pay-my-taxes-I-don’t-like-having-an-African-American-president-how-come-they-have-more-than-me-hey-that’s-not-fair culture, I feel like Randle McMurphy in One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

Are all you mother fuckers insane?

I think we all need to spend a few years in the Peace Corps. We have obviously lost our grip on reality. Clean water, food, and shelter are important. Just ask Candy the crack whore, she knows this. You won’t find Candy protesting about paying her taxes or whining about capitalism being unfair, she knows what’s up.  Clean water, food, and shelter are important, anything above that is gravy.

So I’m going to start writing again, with new wind in my sails. If you’re reading this, and you’re not hungry, or worried about a band of rebels pulling you out of your house to be the only participant in an old-fashioned beheading, you got nothing to bitch about. There are folks living in third world shit holes with REAL problems.

Sadly, complaining seems to be embedded in our culture, probably handed down from our forefathers who deserted their home countries and migrated to the US.  Seems they didn’t like where they were because they had to pay taxes and other people had more than they had. That’s not fair!

I got news for everyone; life ain’t fair, never has been. And things could be A LOT worse.  We could have REAL problems in this country, like the folks in the picture above. Think about it the next time you feel the urge whine about the fact you live in the most prosperous country with the highest standard of living that we, as a species, have ever experienced. Fuck-O-Dear what a population filled with douche nozzles.

And with that nugget of wisdom, I’m back bitches…

 

 

 

 

Why is America Falling Apart? The Final Chapter: Fox News – Americas Highest Rated Reality TV Program

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This is a bit dated but I decided to run it for completeness. New material is on the way and 2012 promises to be a WTF? Are you shitting me? This is complete bullshit! kinda year… and for fuck’s sake, somebody’s gotta say something

Words alone cannot describe my disgust for this pillar of the latest "conservative" movement. What a fucking pussy.

From Wikipedia: Reality television is a genre of television programming that presents purportedly unscripted dramatic or humorous situations, documents actual events, and usually features ordinary people instead of professional actors.

I just wanted to insure I understood the term “Reality TV.”  This genre seems to be confusing the average American lately. To clarify, it is TV programming “that presents purportedly unscripted dramatic or humorous situations, documents actual events, and usually features ordinary people instead of professional actors.”

Reality TV includes the standard programming we all recognize as “sensationalized entertainment” like:

What folks seem to be confused about, are the rest of the reality TV programs that often hide behind the guise of legitimate news programming. The number one perpetrator of this offense is Fox News. Let’s examine their “fair and balanced” programming.

The “Fox News” top stories on May 21, 2010:

Celebrities’ Real Names:

“CH-CH-CHANGES: You think Barry Manilow was born with that smooth, made for AM radio last name? And Flavor Flav? Not even close, boyeeez!”

Hardhitting reporting from the “professional journalists” at Fox.

Obama’s Thugocracy:

“From the G.M. bondholders, to the Black Panthers at polling stations, to ACORN to the mobs showing up at the homes of private citizens, Obama is running a Hugo Chavez-style thugocracy.”

Fair and balanced reporting … if you’re a white middle-class racist dildo.

Bret Suffers Stroke:

“FOX411: Poison frontman Bret Michaels suffers frightening ‘warning stroke,’ learns he has hole in heart.”

This is not news, and really, who gives a shit if some party-animal has-been hair-band maggot finally croaks?

Bacon, Sausage, Hot Dogs Significantly Increase Health Risks:

“Eating just one serving of bacon, sausage, hot dogs and other processed meats a day can raise the risk of heart disease by 42 percent and diabetes by 19 percent, U.S. researchers said on Monday in a study that identifies the real bad boys of the meat counter.”

More hard-hitting news from the fine journalists at Fox, who knew eating crap would kill you?

Kendra’s Oral Sexercise:

“FOX411: ‘Girls Next Door’ star in new exercise video promoting neck exercises to improve, well… | KENDRA HOT SHOTS”

Nice tits but not news, just wank material for Fox News conservatives.

Miss USA Rematch!

“The Miss USA winner and runner-up were in the Fox News studios this week, and both talked about the AZ immigration law. Who answered best?”

Jesus-Tap-Dancing-Christ, who gives a shit what two dim-witted bimbos have to say about anything?

Divas on a Diet:

“HOT LIST: With lives full of red carpets and photo shoots, old-fashioned diets just won’t work for these Hollywood stars. Check out our list of the top weight loss wonders.”

Not news, we all know Hollywood stars puke for a living, who cares?

Stars on Stripper Poles:

“POLE POSITION: Miss USA isn’t the first celeb to wrap herself (or himself) around a stripper’s best friend.”

More wank material for Fox news fanatics, the folks at Fox know what’s important to their followers.

Gin, It’s What’s for Summer:

“The British classic is the perfect tonic for hot summer days… and nights. We taste four of the best.”

OK, this is actually meaningful news, I guess Fox reports on an actual story once in a while.

I’m not going to give Fox sideshow freaks like Glen Beck or Sara Pallin any consideration, I’m pretty sure most folks with normal mental faculties, are able to see these shit-stirring anarchists for what they are, reality TV stars, exactly the same as “Flavor Flav” and “New York”, except with a political agenda. They want the public to think they care about America and play on religious and patriotic rhetoric to turn a buck. These pseudo right-wing nut jobs are slimier that the TV evangelists of the 1960’s

My hat is off to Fox for recognizing a niche’ in the news marketing industry, dressing up a reality TV show to mimic a conservative news source, and preying upon dimwitted folks that can’t determine the difference between reality TV and reality. Keep in mind, Fox is the same network that brings “Family Guy”, the most liberal, irreverent series to ever grace the airwaves of American TV, to your children every Sunday evening. These guys are about as conservative as Timothy Leary. Fox needed a series so they could compete with the big three and stay afloat; they found it with Fox News.

Sadly, at a time when the country should be pulling together, Fox News and their reality stars are spewing anti-government rhetoric that is effectively dividing our great nation. Racial hate speech disguised as conservative reform is the norm on Fox News. If there really is a hell, Fox News executives are gonna have pineapples shoved up their butts every hour, on the hour, just like Adolf Hitler. The message they are promoting, just to line their pockets, is as harmful as crack-cocaine and meth-amphetamine to our nation’s youth.

To recap why America is falling apart:

  1. Non-adherence to the “What Would John Wayne Do?’ philosophy.
  2. Soccer
  3. A reality TV program called “Fox News”.